How to Make Amends The Value of Making Amends in Recovery Leave a comment

For example, if you neglected or mistreated your children while you were using alcohol, a simple apology may not repair the damage. Instead, you may need to engage in a dialogue with them over time. This may involve attending family therapy or individual therapy. You will need to demonstrate that you are committed to rebuilding trust and repairing your relationship with them.

Evoke Wellness Addiction Treatment Programs

However, with effective treatment and support, recovery is possible. Studies have shown that participation in comprehensive living amends treatment programs significantly increases the likelihood of long-term sobriety. At Pillars Recovery, helping you heal from your substance use disorder is our primary goal.

Indirect Amends

Living amends refers to the ways in which you change how you live your life in recovery or “walking our talk.” These changes affirm your commitment to the direct or symbolic amends you made with others. Living amends represent the long-term actions you will take to remain committed to recovery. Sometimes, you may not have the opportunity to make direct amends to the person you harmed. Perhaps the person is no longer living, or you no longer have contact with them and reestablishing contact would cause more harm. While many people are receptive and supportive to attempts to make amends, some are not.

The Ongoing Nature & Power of Making Amends in Recovery

It helps to write down specifically what may have hurt these people. When you’re doing this, it’s important not to get stuck in shame or guilt. It never feels good being the reason someone is experiencing pain.

Some people may not be willing to forgive or rebuild relationships, and individuals in recovery must be prepared for this possibility. When you’re ready to make amends, you can find support to guide you through the process. Connect with 12-Step treatment programs to start planning your recovery. In early recovery, parents might feel pressured to make up for lost time and experiences. We’ve had a spiritual awakening, and we suddenly want to fit as much as possible into each day—and we want to quickly repair all the harm we caused during active addiction.

• Examples of making amends could be doing volunteer work, paying off an old debt, making a public apology, etc.
• The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you.
• It’s possible to be too early in the healing journey to start making amends.
• You may have hurt those around you before you started your journey toward recovery.

An apology is expressing regret or saying sorry for causing harm to someone. Making an amend means taking accountability and action to repair any damages done. Through these restorative actions, you demonstrate your commitment to change. If you are going through a 12-step program, you’ll notice that honesty, accountability and acceptance are overarching themes.

Family and Children’s Programs

The purpose of making amends is not to receive the “right reaction” from the other person. If the person you’ve just made amends with does not accept them, don’t let that take away from the purpose. Show them that you’re willing to work towards regaining their trust again. If you are not willing to ask how you can right the wrong, you are not ready to truly make amends. It is crucial not to make amends if you don’t genuinely see where you went wrong.

Find Support and Connect With Others

How you start these conversations depends on your relationship with the person you harmed and the circumstances in which you plan to make direct amends. When making direct amends, it is usually best to do so after a sustained period of sobriety and while in a calm state of mind. However, even if you feel extremely motivated to make direct amends, it is advisable to take your time with this step. Make sure that you are comfortable with your progress during recovery and that both you and the other person are ready to engage in the process.